Perks of reaching 50

 

Someone had to remind me,

 

So I'm reminding you, too.

Don't laugh....    It is all true!

Perks of reaching 50

Or being over 60

And heading towards

70 or beyond!

1.

Kidnappers are not very

Interested in you.

2.

In a hostage situation,

You are likely to be released first. 

3.

No one expects you to run  --

Anywhere.

4.

People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,

'Did I wake you?'

5.

People no longer view you as a

Hypochondriac.

6.

There is nothing left

To learn the hard way.

7.

Things you buy now

Won't wear out.

8.

You can eat

Supper at 4 PM.

9..

You can live without sex

But not your glasses.

10.

You get into heated arguments

About pension plans.

11.

You no longer think of speed limits

As a challenge.

12.

You quit trying to hold

Your stomach in no matter who walks

Into the room. 

13.

You sing along

With elevator music.

14.

Your eyes won't get

Much worse.

15.

Your investment in health insurance

Is finally beginning to pay off.

16.

Your joints are more  accurate meteorologists

Than the national weather service.

17.

Your secrets are safe with your friends

Because they can't remember them either.

18.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to

A manageable size. 

19.

You can't remember

Who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all

In big print

For your convenience. 

Forward this to everyone

You can remember

Right now!

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, NEVER ,

Under any circumstances,

Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on

 

The same night!

 

 

"Good friends are  like stars...You don't always see them, but you know they are always there."