I just got knocked off my bike by a lorry salting the roads. "Watch out you idiot" I screamed, through gritted teeth...
I asked my wife, "Do you think your mother would prefer Riverdance or something more Fred Astaire-ish?"
She replied, "I think she'd prefer it if you stayed off her grave all together, you sicko."
My wife's been missing for a whole two weeks now and police have just told me to expect the worst!
So I've just been down to the charity shop and bought all her clothes back!
Just went up into the loft to get the Christmas decorations down and found a present we forgot to give the kids last year! Shame really, they'd have loved that puppy!
